What is Sex ‘Addiction’? I have put it in inverted commas because there is much controversy today about it being an addiction and what to call something that was coined by Patrick Carnes more than 30 years ago. Therapists, medics and professionals across the board have different opinions; what do you call it?
It’s hard to imagine that something as natural, healthy and enjoyable as sex can, in certain circumstances, be equated with addiction. The dilemma in understanding sex addiction is that unlike alcohol, drugs or gambling, which can be given up, sex is part of human nature to bond and seek contentment. Its often equated to food addiction, which likewise, we cant do without.
Not every person who has an affair, watches porn or has lots of sex with lots of people is an addict. But sex addiction exists and it is different from generally high libido. For sex addicts, there is no such thing as 5 minutes of porn, just an hour in the strip club or just one partner this week. Whatever the addictive behaviour it is impossible to stop. Hours on the internet, bank accounts emptied on prostitutes and lap dancers, one affair after another, masturbation until sore…once started these can become the unstoppable patterns.
Like other addictive behaviour and ritual that results in shameful and painful discoveries, broken relationships, jobs, sleep and money lost, such consequences don’t stop the need to go back for more despite repeated humiliation. All this in an attempt to exert self control and enjoy sex as others do. The obsessive behaviour continues however, becomes harder to stop and seriously compromises quality of life.
If you are experiencing any of the following, now may be a good time to seek help and support in overcoming sex addiction:
Powerlessness over addictive sexual behaviour.
Resulting unmanageability of his/her life.
Feelings of shame, pain, and self-loathing
Failed promises and attempts to stop acting out.
Preoccupation with sex leading to ritual.
Progressive worsening of negative consequences.
Help with Sex Addiction and Sexual compulsivity in Marbella and Gibraltar, London UK and Worldwide. I am experienced working with sex addiction and sexual compulsivity in individuals and as part of a couple relationship. I am a facilitator of the SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) 12-Step programme ‘Progress not Perfection’ in Marbella.
Contact me to arrange a confidential initial assessment on +34 608594608 or the ‘Progress not Perfection’ Helpline on +34 654710982 in Spain or +44 7813944146 in UK.